All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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