well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The dick lei will go down in squad history
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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