Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
