Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
