i barfeds in our rink
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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