its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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