I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
