Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
