Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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