We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize