my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
