I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
