I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
splinters make it hard to masturbate
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
