This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it because I queefed?
I understand Curling. That high.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
