I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
