Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
