But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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