Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
