There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize