in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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