we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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