so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
