singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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