I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
