i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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