Don't you send me to vm
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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