your thong is hanging out like whoa
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
