Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
