love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
