He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
