I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
