How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
