that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize