I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
