id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
