Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
