I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
