worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
