I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So many bounce houses so little time
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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