But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
