i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
