Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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