I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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