i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
