She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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