I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
