You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize