Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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