good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
