it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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