Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
