So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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