Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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