I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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