apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize