you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
