Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
