just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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