omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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