You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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