Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
