hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
