I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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