Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
