God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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